Dear Black Body,

I could feel the weight of your tongue heavy with quiet and stories to tell. Perhaps you took my reticence as a sign of aggression, if not suppression toward your identity, but I never intended to trespass against your agency. I just wanted people to see me more than they saw you, and now I have learned that perhaps the two of us cannot be mutually exclusive.

In Nepal, a Crisis “Worse Than the Earthquake”

“Can I order something from the menu?” I asked the manager at the Hotel Friends Home hotel in Kathmandu, Nepal.
“I’m sorry, sir, we are not serving lunch or dinner right now because we have to save gas because of the crisis.”
“What crisis?”
“The blockage of imports at the border, sir. We have not received imports from India.”

Dreams a lot like love

She knew me when I was different. She knew me when I believed in complete unfettered love. I believed in the kind of love that makes an introvert extroverted. The kind of love where you spend hours scribbling down romantic poems during a college lecture, and the kind of love that moves you to read said love poem in front of a room full of adults—just because she’s there and because you’re a romantic. I was a romantic and that’s when Kelly knew me. The last time I saw her was last night. We were swimming. Well, she was swimming…

Who has empathy for the victim?

“Should you go to school today?” Not too many 15 year olds are asked whether or not they should go to school at 6:00am on a Tuesday morning.  When my mother asked me that Tuesday, there was a level of uncertainty within the question that I never heard before.  But, with fire and smoke seeping from one of the world’s tallest buildings on CNN, going out in public, even to get an education, seemed like a risky affair.  However the choice was made, I found myself huddled with my peers during a school wide community meeting.  Administration confirmed what many…

What would the dead want from us?

What would the dead want from us? My dead friend would want me to push back against the sorrow.  My dead friend would want me to compete. Courtney Graham, one of the more athletic, faster, and cavalier friends of mine seemed to be attracted to the dangerous.  Throughout our friendship, the difference in our flight or fight response would provide many avenues for us to explore our more precarious sides.  This often lead to bouts of whimsical competition (more often than not, instigated by Courtney). Once, we asked my older sister to tie us to a neighbor’s tree just to…

Death in Silence

I have hardly been intimate with death. I’ve only begun to be acquainted with its shadow, As it rears itself in shadow form to remind the living that he is walking with us and dancing to the same tune. Indifferently tapping his feet against ours like sand against sand in an hourglass. I did find death waiting for me one day, Nesting in my mattress, treading over my sheets and shackling himself to my dreams. I swallowed to untie my tongue and draw my sword to break the muzzle of anger clenched within my jaw, but as I opened the…

A Coda on “Twoness”

It is with my biological mother that the absence of closure has affected me the most.  The lack of closure in regards to my biological mother, however, has granted me the greatest amount of existentialistic liberation.  I’ve always experienced fleeting bouts of jealousy when I encounter someone that has the fortune of sharing their natural talents with the talents of their parents.  I have always longed for the connection, and it wasn’t until I was confronted with deciding what kind of person I would be, I felt the absence of a visual representation of whom I came from.  I do…

Coda on requited love

“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving up, rather than out.” -Ellen Goodman I write this fully aware of the danger one may encounter when writing about their experience with others.  Especially when, in this particular event, the other is not present…